Best of the Tales: Rejected Otter Pops

Dec 6 is the 12th anniversary of my 1st domain registration: (evolved from my print zine, Prehensile Tales). I used to post a new humorous Tale every Monday. It was among the early regularly updated “ezines” (WAY before blogs) and connected me to a community of amazing creative people who also found the net early. I am still friends with many people from that era.

I no longer update that site, but I wanted to highlight some of my favorite “Tales” over the next week. They are rude, juvenile, and generally NSFW.
For Example: “Rejected Otter Pops.”

Virgin Cherry
The Virgin



Klansman Missy Melon
Adam Apple Amputee
Peachy Queen
Rassberry Reich







  1. #1 written by b December 4th, 2008 at 16:21

    i remember e-zines! i used to distribute a little girly fashion and beauty one through AOL… via email, before making a website. :]

    RE Q
  2. #2 written by Andrasta December 4th, 2008 at 21:32

    I was just thinking about and missing Prehensile in the shower earlier this week (contemplative showerness, not creepy lewd showerness or anyfin’)…thinking about what a great hero you have been to me.

    I stumbled upon Prehensile when I was about 13 or 14, and you were totally my freaking e-Dumbledore or something. That a person could be driven, crazy mad skilled, beautiful, productive, kind, conscientious, giving, funny as fuck (which is pretty funny sometimes), gracious, strong, opinionated, brilliant, but somehow also completely vulnerable and tangible was a revelation and inspiration.

    Your comedic gems like Meat of the Loom and the Prehensile page tag lines (“Prehensile Tales bets dollars to doughnuts that the dollar to doughnut exchange rate is getting dismal” – or something way craftier, funnier, and much more succinct) were the bread and butter, but the squishy pink tender soul morsels that tumbled out along the way were the deal-clenchers that might just have programmed some standards, hopes, and aspirations into deep-rooted think-slots in my thinky-feely data center.

    You probably get this a lot. But you are a pretty inspiring humanoid. So, thanks for doing whatcha do, and raising the bar for folks like me. =)

    RE Q
  3. #3 written by Jello_bong December 8th, 2008 at 19:55

    I remember the Prehensile site days! Lots of funny stuff to be found there! I’m going to have to go back and re-read some of the tales. I remember laughing so hard at some of them that breathing was difficult. Thanks for reminding me of those times!

    RE Q